War of the Hexes
by Black Rose and Emerald Star
Summary: *Chapters 13 now up* Severus Snape becomes a child. Starts in Harry's fifth year at Hogwarts and includes ideas from lots of people! *Chapters 9/10/13 contains male/male slash and twincest* please read/review
1. A New Hex?

ES: Yay! Our second attempt at writing a fic together! (First attempt never having gone past the beginning and the ending^_^)

BR: Is it my fault that we can't seem to start things? Probably =^-^= I hope the readers like this one.

Disclaimer 1: Harry Potter and all other characters except for Ms Holly the elf belong to JK Rowlings. She got to them first. She's so much smarter than us *sobs*

Disclaimer 2: This story is based loosely on Silverfox's "My name is Severus" We'll actually be stealing several ideas from Silverfox, with permission!, and hope that Silverfox will not come out to kill us for it.

Disclaimer 3: we are swapping back and forth with the chapters and the author notes will let you know who wrote which chapter.

Disclaimer 4: Trelawney's 'visions' are ours... no touching them without permission and please don't laugh at them... well, you can laugh, but please do so only because they are ridiculous if you're not the writer!

War of the Hexes

Chapter 1: A New Hex?

By: Black Rose and Emerald Star

Staring through a curtain of limp, slightly oily black hair, Severus Snape, a la Potion Master of Hogwarts, watched from his seat at the head table as another batch of incompetent young witches and wizards were sorted. None of them seemed the least bit likely to be pranksters.

Bored out of his mind, he briefly wished that he had a firecracker to set off. This year was starting to turn out to be one of the most boring he had ever participated in, even though he should be happy about that. After all, with Lord Voldemort now being back anything considered 'exciting' had something of a ninety-nine percent chance of ending with someone either dead of seriously injured, be it mentally or physically.

Glancing with his usual scowl on his face, Professor Snape looked over at the Gryffindor table, to the Weasley twins. How he wished that he could join them for even a second and plot ways with those two on how to best upset one of the teachers, most preferably Minerva, seeing as how she was the most difficult of the staff to get a laugh out of.

But no, he had to act the way of an adult.

How boring.

The Sorting being finished, Snape listened with only half an ear as Dumbledore announced who was now the new DADA instructor.

For another year, Severus Snape couldn't have the one job he thought of as the most fun of all the jobs at Hogwarts. Some forest elf instead was getting it. What had her name been again? Ah yes, Christina Holly. Although under the wizard law, house elves were not allowed to hold a wand unless they were not bound to a house, any other type of elf was.

Christina Holly was a small thing, only as tall as the average twelve-year-old with bright red hair to rival the Weasley's. With her boyish hair cut, tomboy outlook, and small chest, one could easily mistake her as a boy. Add to that the fact that her nickname was Chris, one could easily forget that she was a girl. However, one could not overlook the fact that she was an elf with her humanely impossible skinny form and long pointed ears.

However, at the next announcement he looked up in shock.

"Also, the Governors have said that to encourage inter-house relationships, houses will be paired up in all main courses. This means that, for the three years as a trial, each year the houses will be paired differently in Charms, Potions, Defense Against the Dark Arts, and Transfigurations as Doubles. This year it will be Hufflepuffs with Ravenclaws and Gryffindors with Slytherins."

All chatter stopped.

Quickly getting over the shock, Snape stood up fast leaning into the table for support as he looked down the table towards Dumbledore. At exactly the same time, Minerva McGonagall did the same.

"A word, please, Albus?" Both teachers practically demanded.

And without pause for an affirmation of either kind, Snape swept out of the room to the teachers lounge.

Pacing in front of the fire, when the door opened Snape rounded on the two.

"Albus, are you INSANE?" he whispered in his most quiet voice. "By putting my kids with Minerva's your guaranteeing the destruction of this school by the end of the week!"

"I agree with Severus on this one, Albus. What are those idiots thinking? It's bad enough that our children have Double Potions together for seven years, but this is just too much! Especially since fifth years have those four classes twice a week. Potter and Malfoy will be at each other's throats so much that no one from those classes will EVER learn anything!"

Dumbledore held up his hand as Snape opened his mouth to add something. "I have no control over the ruling of the board, Minerva, Severus. The reason I'm putting the Gryffindors and the Slytherins together at this time is to try and make the board change their ruling once they see the increase in students sent to the infirmary. If not at the very least to get the most volatile pairing done with as soon as possible."

Dumbledore looked both teachers in the eye. Both noticed there was no twinkle there. "There will be no more discussion on this situation since I cannot change it. Now, Professors, I believe you have classes to attend to in the morning. Good night."

*---*---*---*---*

Severus Snape swept through the door of his class Monday morning at the appointed time, gliding down the aisle to the desk in front of the chalk board and turning abruptly around and leaning slightly against it surveyed the class. Gryffindors and Slytherins, Fifth Year. All students sat in front of their cauldrons, Gryffindor in the last two rows and Slytherin in the front two.

"Today we will be doing one of the more complex sleep potions. Nicknamed 'ever-after' for it's interesting effect on the REM level of sleep, it causes the drinker to create a dramatic dream where the intended recipient is the main character of a, due to a lack of term, play. In the play the main character always falls in love and after a challenge or quest of some kind always end up with the intended in one of those sick muggle ideas of happily ever-after."

"Due to the complexity of the potion, we will only be preparing the ingredients today and creating the actual potion on Wednesday. So put away your cauldrons and get started."

After referring to which page in the book that the potion recipe was on, Snape walked down the rows, praising his kids and putting down Minerva's. At ten minutes to the end of class with no incidents having occurred, other than the expectant bickering between Draco and Harry, Snape was breathing a sigh of relief.

All to early.

Snape was helping Gregory with sorting out a pile of ingredients the boy had spilt on accident standing in front of Draco when it started.

"At least I'm not the one that bought his way onto his Quidditch team, Malfoy!"

"You'll regret saying that, Potter! _Colourex Lamdara!_"

Snape whirled around and his eyes widened as he saw Harry. The boy's black hair was now neon pink.

Seeing a lock of his pink hair, Harry raised his wand as well. "_Petrificus Total_-Ack!" He finished as Hermione shot up out of her chair and took a hold of the back of his robes and pulled, sending Harry off balance for a moment and mispronouncing the spell.

Draco, reacting to the threat, ducked.

Still in shock over the neon pink hair, Severus didn't.

The spell hit with a physical force that caused Severus to bend in slightly as he felt pain akin to that felt when drinking PolyJuice Potion run through him and a sense of sudden vertigo. Just before he blacked out he could have sworn he heard a soft click somewhere inside of him.

*---*---*---*---*

ES: Mwahahahaha! An evil cliffhanger! What has happened to our oily haired Potions Master? Will Harry's hair ever be black again? Isn't Severus just the best character out of all of them? Next Chapter to be written by my cohort in plagiarizing, Black Rose! See ya all in Chapter Three!

BR: Hmmm, given me not much to work with there, Emerald. I really like your use of the neon hair. Hmm, what ever shall I do with poor Severus Snape? You'll just have to wait and see!


	2. Honey, I shrunk the Professor.

BR: *evil grin* My turn. And you can't play this round, Star, sorry! *points her wand at ES* _Petrificus Totalus_! =^-^= I hope the readers like this chapter as much as I will like writing it!

Disclaimer 1: Harry Potter and all other characters except for Ms Holly the elf belong to JK Rowlings. She got to them first. She's so much smarter than us *sobs*

Disclaimer 2: This story is based loosely on Silverfox's "My name is Severus" We'll actually be stealing several ideas from Silverfox, with permission!, and hope that Silverfox will not come out to kill us for it.

Disclaimer 3: we are swapping back and forth with the chapters and the author notes will let you know who wrote which chapter.

Disclaimer 4: Trelawney's 'visions' are ours... no touching them without permission and please don't laugh at them... well, you can laugh, but please do so only because they are ridiculous if you're not the writer!

War of the Hexes

Chapter 1: Honey, I shrunk the Professor

By: Black Rose and Emerald Star

Severus Snape slowly gained consciousness. The first thing to register in his brain was that it was too warm to be his rooms in the Dungeons. The second thing was that someone must have replaced his bed with a King-sized bed, 'cause this definitely wasn't his bed. Much too big.

Then the smell of medical potions and starched sheets hit his nose. "Hospital," was his immediate identification. THEN he remembered the student-duel between Potter and Malfoy, his lips curling upward at the image of Harry Potter with neon pink hair.

Finally he remembered being hit with a messed-up, full-body-bind spell. What had it been? 'Petrificus Totalack'? He'd never heard it before, so it must be a new hex of some sort. And he was still alive to tell the tale of being hit.

He lost his smile just as his hearing kicked in.

"Albus, we've tried every nullifying spell we can think of!" said Minerva McGonagall's voice. In fact, she sounded exhausted and desperate.

Professor Flitwick's voice chimed in, "We've even tried all the potions and combinations of potions and spells that we could think of." Flitwick sounded depressed, which was amazing. Nothing ever made the Charms Professor upset.

"I have seen horrible things, Albus," a breathy voice spoke mysteriously. "I see a grim lurking in the shadows, yet I also see some type of fish swimming through the air between Severus and the grim. I do not know what this means," Professor Trelawney finished.

Darkness tried to latch onto him again as he struggled to hear the soft voices that drifted in from the hallway. He struggled to fend it off, but it took hold and dragged him under into the gentle blackness that was oblivion.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Again, Severus came around, but this time there was a huge, warm hand gently holding his and the voice of Albus Dumbledore spoke, "Good morning, Severus. You had us worried there for a while."

Opening his eyes, Severus was greeted with a giant version of Headmaster Dumbledore.

"AAH!" Severus screamed, his voice somewhat high-pitched and quavering. Who would be so cruel as to use an image of his friend to torture him?

"Shhh, Severus, my boy," Albus said, his eyes twinkling behind his crescent moon glasses.

Snapping his mouth shut, Severus pushed himself upright and looked around, shoving strands of long oily black hair out of his eyes. He was in one of the hospital rooms at Hogwarts and... wait a minute! Everything was so much bigger than the last time he'd been in here!

He looked down, paused, blinked, lifted one too small hand to rub his eyes, then looked again.

"Oh no," he stated flatly. "Please tell me that a screwed up wand-wave and mangled spell have not sent me back to my childhood. Please say it isn't so." He looked at the Headmaster, a look of pleading unknowingly creeping into his eyes. His expression was sad and lost, reminding the Headmaster of the day the real young Severus Snape had been sorted into Slytherin.

Albus Dumbledore patted his hand lightly, his eyes gleaming. "All right, I won't tell you. I also won't tell you that you're being kept in the castle and that you're to act like a student and you're to have the same schedule as young Draco Malfoy."

Severus' jaw dropped as the Headmaster continued. "You are not to leave the castle for any reason without the escort of fellow students, no less than five, or a professor. Now, I must get rid of the pile of letters that seem to have appeared on my desk before they explode."

With that, Dumbledore swept out of the hospital wing and shut the door just as the message sunk into Snape's brain.

"I get to be... a student again?" he whispered almost gleefully.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Dumbledore sat at his desk with a groan, then let his head fall forward onto the pile of letters. Who was he going to get to teach Potions this year? He'd all ready let the new DADA teacher know she was going to be responsible for the Slytherin House until this got sorted out.

Maybe she had an idea for a new Potions teacher! He sat up and grabbed some blank parchment, scribbled a note, and handed it to his small owl. He watched it fly out the window with a frown on his face.

Harry Potter's hair was still neon pink, but less neon and more just pink. That spell should wear out in a week or so, returning his hair to it's normal black color.

And if he was remembering right, colored hair was going to be the least of the problems that he would need to address once Severus Snape was pushed in with the fifth year Slytherins.

TBC

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

BR: *grins* that was fun. Now you need to review ppl. Please don't flame, if you do, I'll be forced to send Hoshi after you... oops, I meant Star. It's sooo hard to remember to say her name in English! *giggles, then points at Emerald Star* _Finite Incantatem!_ *runs for her live!* Later folks! See you in chapter 4!


	3. Breakfast time!

ES: *Glares at the retreating form of Black Rose than smiles wickedly and snaps her fingers.* Gosh, I love Quirrell. *Watches bemusedly as Black Rose falls over bound in ropes.* I'll deal with you later. Right now I got a chapter to write.

War of the Hex's

Chapter 3 – Breakfast time! 

By: Black Rose and Emerald Star

Severus Snape looked over the dormitory he would be living in indefinitely for the duration of his supposed torture. At least, that's what ninety-five percent of the staff thought. Dumbledore and McGonagall on the other hand…

Those two had been on the teaching staff the first time around that Severus had been through school. They suspected more than the others did what to expect, and had tried to warn the other staff. However, the majority of the staff didn't put it in much thought. After all, how could such a mean, cruel, bitter bastard be the picture of rambunctious disaster area they painted?

Except for Professor Binns. He had been on the staff the first time around as well, but then again, nothing EVER happened in his class. The students were always too comatose to do anything.

Dropping his trunk at the foot of his bed, Severus flopped onto it, staring at the ceiling. He had stayed the night in the hospital wing because Poppy wanted him to be close in case of any delayed side effects.

Tuesday was Transfiguration followed by Care of Magical Creatures. Gods, the first class he had to go to was THAT one! Hmm… At least he could bug the hell out of Minerva.

Chuckling lightly to himself Severus got off his bed went over and opened up his trunk with a muttered spell revealing…

"Are you done yet, Mr. Snape?"

Quickly grabbing his wand, a borrowed copy of _An All Around Guide to Transfiguration_, and a small stoppered crystal vile with a cobalt blue liquid, Severus closed his trunk. Muttering a quick phrase to put the wards up, Severus turned around and smiled innocently up at Mrs. Holy as he put the items in his spelled sleeves.

"Yes, Professor."

"Then please join the rest of the students down at breakfast."

"Ok, Professor."

*---*---*---*---*

Harry Potter sat down to breakfast red with embarrassment as three quarters of the school snickered quite audibly. Over the night the same way that his hair had once grown back after an offending hair cut, his hair had tried to go back to it's natural coloring. So instead of all pink hair, it looked as if he had gone out and streaked his black hair with pink.

Slouching down in his chair, he looked over at Hermione who had received her copy of the _Morning Prophet_ with an interested expression on her face. Glancing at the front cover, Harry did a double take.

"Hey, 'Mione, can I read the cover?"

"Sure, Harry," she said off handedly as she handed the front and back sheet to Harry.

Reading over it quickly, Harry glanced at the glowering picture of an adult Severus Snape.

****

Surprising Youth

- Rita Skeeter

During an accident in one of his classes, Professor Severus Snape, ex-death eater and current Potions Professor of Hogwarts, was hit by an extremely experimental charm, says Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts to Minister of Magic, Cornelius Fudge late last evening. When pressed for information, the Headmaster would only say that the charm was a deviation of the full-body-bind curse, making the charm bind the Professor's body into that of a fifteen-year-old until the proper counter-curse is preformed. Since the deviation of the charm is experimental, no one knows what the counter curse could be. However, when asked on who had cast the charm, Dumbledore was adamant that the charm had been cast by mistake and that the guilty party was not to be blamed.

Later in the discussion, it was brought up in concern by the Minister that the only known Potions Master in the world was now incapacitated. However Dumbledore was quick to say that no damage to Mr. Snape's memory was apparent.

Professor Severus Snape has now been reinstated as a fifth year student to Hogwarts until either the counter-curse is found or he re-graduates from the school, where upon Mr. Snape will retake his role as Potions Professor. This writer, however, has to wonder if the experimental charm could have unhinged the Ex-Professor's mind. As all wizards and witches know, charms and spells can affect the mind of a living being.

Harry felt ill for a moment. Could he really have damaged Snape's mind? And if he had, how would Snape act now?

"How could they put something like this in the papers?" Harry hissed, looking over at Ron and Hermione. "What if You-Know-Who finds out? You know he would love to get his hands on Snape because he was a spy! This would create the perfect opportunity!"

"Ah, come on, Harry," Ron blithely said, waving his fork around, "it's not like evil people read the paper! Have you ever heard of one doing so?"

It was at that moment that the very man, boy now, walked into the room followed closely by Professor Holly.

All activities at the tables stopped.

Shoulder length, CLEAN black hair with blue highlights was the thing that everyone noticed first. Those not shocked enough by that noticed that he was SMALL. Smaller than anyone in any of the age groups, including the Creevy brothers. If that wasn't enough, what caught everyone's attention next, would have sent half the population of Hogwarts running away in confusion and utter fear.

Snape was SMILING.

*---*---*---*---*

Dumbledore watched wearily as the entire school looked upon the giddy child. Groaning lightly, he rested his head lightly on his folded up arms. He knew that look, the Weasley twins had that look on all the time. And for the first time since the incident, Albus Dumbledore knew his worst doubts were reality.

Severus Snape would not be long in coming up to his study.

*---*---*---*---*

Breakfast had been terrible. The entire Slytherin congregation, not knowing what to make of a happy little boy being Professor Snape had immediately taken a disliking to him. Because of this, he had been left by himself at one of the ends of the table were the seventh years normally would have eaten with no one to talk to.

This had reminded Severus of the one draw back of being a kid again. The isolation. No one in Slytherin was supposed to be nice. Being happy, unless it was a happy pleasure caused by some one else's pain and suffering, had been automatically ruled out.

Severus could remember: when he had been sorted, the astonishment of all present. That he had been put into Slytherin, when on the train he had shown that he was a very capable prankster and very brave, if a bit fool hardy, considering his very first prank had been directed at none other than Sirus Black.

As Severus walked down the halls, not all to calmly might I add, when turning a corner he was bowled over by the Creevy brothers. Getting up and dusting off his robes, he looked piercingly at them, causing the boys to stand stock-still.

Smiling mischievously at them, Severus took out his wand from his left sleeve with his right wand and with a swish he called out, "_Kitarriya Changus_!" Nothing appeared to happen.

With a muffled eep from both the Creevy brothers, they turned and fled, making Severus smile even more as he saw the effect of his little curse.

Both brothers were now being followed faithfully by tails.

*---*---*---*---*

Red eyes with snake like pupils looked up from an edition of the _Morning Prophet_ to meet ice blue.

"What a most…_interesting_ opportunity."

*---*---*---*---*

BR: LET ME OUT OF HERE!

ES: Not until you agree to the kitten idea.

BR: Fine, fine. We'll use a kitten! You must be obsessed with cats, what with the tails on the Creevy brothers!

ES: Yep! *Smiles cutely* Also, no more incapacitating the other.

BR: aaaw… but where's the fun in THAT?!?!?! *Blinks, then looks contrite* ok.

ES: Swear to it!

BR: OK. I swear it on the Moon Palace that I won't bind you up again.

ES: *Looks pointedly at Black Rose, kind of like Dumbledore* Good. *Snaps her fingers.*

BR: *Shakes herself and gets up, smoothing out her skirt.* OK, well, that's the end of the chapter folks! Next chapter, see what Sevi does in Transfigurations! *Grins and rubs her hands* Oh Minervaaaa!

ES: *Groans as the screen goes blank* Hey! Who turned out the lights!!???


	4. Color Trail.

ES: *Winces as the sound of muffled cursing and shattering glass reaches her ears.* Umm… To ovoid a needless character insert and consequent death of said needless character, I'll be taking over this chapter and maybe the next. I want to get as much of this done as possible before vacation is over, so look us up daily before the second. Have a Happy New Year!

War of the Hexes

Chapter 4 – Color Trail.

By: Black Rose and Emerald Star

As Severus walked towards McGonagall's room it struck him that now was the perfect time to implement his first planned prank. Ducking down a side corridor, he made it quickly to the front hall and took out the crystal vile.

Uncorking the vile, Severus leaked a thin line across the width of the wall posts. Repeating the process at all the areas where one could enter the hall, Severus stepped back over the first line, corking and replacing the vile in his left sleeve and taking out his wand.

"_Leviosa_!" The spilled potion and walls in the hall turned emerald green. With a wicked grin, Severus replaced his wand. Smiling mischievously Severus hurried off to the locked Transfiguration classroom. With a quick, "_Alohomora_!" Severus took a seat in the back left corner.

*---*---*---*---*

McGonagall groaned as she peered into the box in her hands. With a quick sneeze she replaced the top, looking really down.

Of course, the one time she tells Hagrid any animal will do, he HAD to get the one kind she was slightly allergic to. She sighed miserably as she continued on her way to the classroom.

Nodding her head to the passing Creevy brother's, Minerva sneezed again. Glancing back at the two, she stopped and stared.

Were those _tails_ behind the two? More importantly, emerald green tails?!

As the two rounded the corner Minerva blinked. Was she getting paranoid about the lesson or what? But that color…

In all her years of teaching, Minerva McGonagall had only come across one child that left a distinctive color trail whenever doing spells of any kind. For crying out loud, even the child's Patronus was green!

As Minerva continued, she looked in surprise at the open door of her classroom. What the ?

And as she entered the room, she knew.

"Five points from Slytherin for each brother, Severus."

*---*---*---*---*

Harry stared at the Creevy brothers that passed by on the way to the Hospital Wing. Were those green tails?

Shaking his head, Harry entered the Transfiguration classroom and sat down in his regular seat. Weird, none of the Slytherin's were there yet except Snape. Infact, a few Gryffindor's were missing also.

As Professor McGonagall took call, Harry watched as she frowned down at the parchment. She looked up and stared hard at Snape for a moment before asking the question on everyone's mind.

"Do any of you know where more than half the class is?"

Most people shrugged well some glanced at each other worriedly.

"Well, I can't wait for them so get out some parchment and take VERY good notes for those that are not here. Today's lesson will involve changing these into mittens."

With that Professor McGonagall took out a box and placed it on the front of her desk. Conjuring a surgical mask and putting it on, McGonagall took off the lid, allowing the class to hear the meows within.

*---*---*---*---*

Severus looked dispondently at the little white kitten curled up on his desk. From what he had been able to see before the little thing had fallen asleep and curled its head inwards, it was all white except for a patch of gray fur in the shape of a sun centered on her brow. She was small enough to fit comfortably in his palm and had lime green eyes.

She was so cute this way! Why did he have to turn her into a pair of mittens? It wasn't even cold outside, for crying out loud! Besides, it wasn't like he'd actually be able to do it. Severus sucked at Transfiguration. Hell, he had failed the damn subject on his OWLS and NEWTS. What made them think he'd be able to do this now?

Looking up to the front of the room, he caught the slightly murderous look of Professor McGonagall. First of all, it was only the first lesson of the new term and half the class hadn't shown, and second, she had to wear the surgical mask so she wouldn't sneeze herself to death with all of the kittens around unless she turned into a cat herself.

McGonagall narrowed her eyes at him and Severus turned back to the kitten on his desk. If he didn't even TRY he had a feeling Minerva would give him detention. So with his eyes closed tight, Severus pointed at the sleeping cat and muttered the spell.

Peeking open his eyes, Severus's heart plummeted. Oh, the poor thing! She most definitely was still a kitten, but he'd managed to turn her beatiful coat emerald green!

As Severus stared at her and wondered how to change her coat coloring back to white, Filch entered the room and strode over to Minerva's desk as the rest of the class entered behind him, looking either frightened, excited, or disappointed.

"Albus wants to see Severus, Minerva."

"Whatever for, Argus? And why is over half my class late?"

"Someone put a Levitation spell on the front hall. Anyone that entered it was stuck in there due to a boundry potion."

Minerva glanced over at Severus. "That still doesn't explain why Albus wants to see Severus."

At this, Filch smiled rather nastily. "The hall was green, Minerva."

McGonagall's eye brows shot up. "Green?"

Filch nodded. "Green. Emerald green, to be exact."

"Ah, thank you, Argus. Mr. Snape, take your things with you. Seeing as you have failed to turn your kitten into a pair of mittens, take the cat with you and I expect you to do it as homework. Get the paperwork from one of your dorm mates later tonight."

*---*---*---*---*

Albus Dumbledore waited for the door of his office to open. He, the one who had brought down the dark wizard Grindelwald was waiting for a thing he considered infitisamily worse. The greatest prankster to have ever gone to Hogwarts.

Severus Snape.

As that very person slipped through his office door and sat down in the seat in front of his desk, the Headmaster was reminded of the nearly daily visits the two had only slightly over a decade ago. Wait a minute, was that a green kitten in his hand?

"You can't pin this on me, Albus. You have no proof that I did it."

Dumbledore looked at Severus very carefully. "The hall was green, Severus."

"So? Just because something's green, doesn't mean I did anything to it. What if Potter's hair had been green instead of pink? Would you have accused me of hexing Potter then?"

"No, because you were an adult then. However, you're a kid now. One that, might I add, gave the Creevy brothers green tails and has transfigured something into a green kitten."

"You know I can't transfigure worth crud, Albus. It is a kitten, I just turned her green by accident."

"Back to the topic, did you put that spell on the great hall?" Albus gave his sternest glare.

Severus just smiled. "Yup!"

Albus sighed. "Fifty points from Slytherin and two nights of detention with Filch, Severus."

"Fifty points? Isn't that a bit harsh?"

"Severus, half the school missed most of their classes this morning because they were floating around in the great hall!"

Severus pouted cutely. "Ah, come on, Albus. It was only a joke."

Albus only pointed sternly at the door. "Out, you little rascal. And if I have to call you in here again today, it'll be an extra hundred points off."

Severus smiled, saluted mockingly saying, "Aye-aye, sir," and left.

Albus Dumbledore leaned back into his chair, took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. [Gods, I'm getting to old for this,] he thought.

*---*---*---*---*

ES: Well, I've successfully managed to do two chapters in a row and come up with what I think is a pretty cracken good prank, as the twins would say. I think Black Rose has calmed down a bit, so the next chapter will probably be written by her. Special thanks go out to Silverfox for hyping this fic in chapter eleven of **Runaway Dragon**. We really appreciate it!


	5. I taught I saw a puddy tat!

BR: OK. I'm back after a nasty run-in with the four letter word we all know and hate... WORK. Yes, the all-power, totally-evil, soul-sucking w-word. And the rulers of the w-word... bosses. Notice how 'boss' is four letters too? Uh-huh. It's a conspiracy. Anyway, thanks to Emerald Star for covering and doing two chapters in a row. Now, I've got some ideas and here we go!

War of the Hexes

Chapter 5 – I taught I saw a puddy tat!

(I thought I saw a pussy cat!)

By: Black Rose and Emerald Star

Severus skipped lunch and instead sat on his bed in his dorm room, looking at the tiny emerald green kitten. Her eyes were still lime green and the cute sun burst on her forehead was now forest green. She was almost as cute as when she'd been white and gray. That little blaze on her forehead was just the cutest thing in the world.

Reaching out, he lightly scratched her head with one finger. "What am I going to call you?" he murmured as she started to purr loudly. "Sunny? Greenie? Blaze? Hmm, how about... Blaize?" Her purring seemed to be getting louder. "All right then, Blaize it is!"

He scooped up the palm-sized green kitten and cuddled her just as Mrs. Holly stormed into his dorm.

"What do you think you're doing up here?! And what do you think you were doing this morning!" she raged as she blew into the room. Her green eyes nearly glowed with her fury as Severus only smiled sweetly, his eyes the picture of innocence as the green kitten cuddled against his chest.

"I was only playing a joke," he said mock-meekly. His dark eyes glittered with laughter that he fought to suppress. "And as to what I'm doing here, this is my dorm. I am allowed up here whenever it pleases me to be here."

Christina Holly scowled, then suddenly smiled, looking cute and elfin. "If you loose any more points for this House, you will regret it, Mr. Snape," she said cheerfully, then turned and vanished from the room, the door shutting gently behind her.

Severus blinked down at Blaize. "She's weird. Let's get rid of her so I can get that job when I get rid of this stupid hex." Blaize purred and rubbed her forest green marking against his chin as if agreeing. "At least tomorrow I have Potions in the afternoon. Then I'll get to do something that won't turn green... or maybe it will," he grinned down at the kitten and hopped off the bed with her and made his way down to his next class.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Severus looked around at the group that was waiting for Hagrid to show up with the latest insane creature for them to learn about. At least this year they didn't require a finger-eating book.

There was Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley, and across the group that consisted of every House stood Draco Malfoy with his goons, Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle.

Not liking either option, Severus stood in the center of the various groups, absently stroking the emerald green kitten.

A tap on his shoulder made him turn around slowly and smile at whoever was there. It was Draco.

"Professor," Draco said snidely. "I wanted to say that I greatly enjoyed your floating room this morning."

__

Oh no, Mr. Malfoy had the fun of flying around this morning. Poor boy, he thought evilly as he grinned. "I greatly enjoyed watching the after-effects of that spell myself, Mr. Malfoy."

Draco shifted slightly and then smiled thinly. "I am sure that we'll be seeing more interesting spells, however the House would like you to refrain from loosing us more points. We only have fifty more points in the glass." There was a thinly veiled warning in his words that made Severus smile.

Just then, Hagrid came around his hut with a... was that... Oh God.

"Uh just wan' ya all tuh be very quiet," Hagrid said as he led a muzzled Fluffy forward.

All the students took an involuntary step backwards and Ronald Weasley hid behind Harry Potter with a muffled "Not Fluffy!"

Severus Snape held his kitten closer as she started to wriggle in his grip and Hagrid started to talk.

"This 'ere be Fluffy, muh other pet dog. As ye kin see, he's a giant three 'eaded dog. His species, bein' called Cerberus Canus, will eat only raw red meat 'n can be put ta sleep by the sound of anything musical, includin' birdsong. Fluffy 'ere 'as no known preditors 'cept the 'ternal cats. 'Ternal cats are a very rare magical cat whose aging period is so long that they remain kittens fer fifty years. They are born to regular cats under special circumstances that can be recreated by an intelligent wizard. The only way to tell a 'ternal cat from a reg'lar cat is by the small size and bright lime green eyes as opposed to the slightly murky green eyes found in normal cats..."

Severus tuned out the words of the grounds-keeper and turned his eyes to Blaize a small smile tugging at his lips. "So you're an eternal cat, huh? Want a go at Fluffy, baby Blaize?" Blaize's tail lashed back and forth and her lime eyes lit with pleasure and hope. With a full-fledged grin, Severus set the kitten down and watched her race towards Fluffy.

The first sign that Fluffy saw Blaize was that all six of his eyes widened. Next he whimpered and fought against Hagrid's grip on his leash. The students all took another step back as the tiny emerald green kitten leapt off the ground at the giant dog's center face.

Then all hell broke loose.

Hagrid was bellowing, the students were running every which way, Fluffy managed to get one of his muzzles off as he raced for the Forbidden Forest and was howling in fear, and Blaize was bright streak of green as she raced after the large dog.

Severus grinned as he headed lazily back to the castle. Blaize would find her way back to his room, or someone would return her somehow. He knew she'd end up back with him before dinner.

He was almost wrong.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, stared down at the tiny emerald green kitten with the forest green sunburst on her forehead as she slowly and methodically washed herself on his desk.

He had just managed to calm Hagrid down enough to send him out to look for Fluffy.

Just then, Chris stormed into Albus' office dragging the smaller Snape behind her by the ear. "Sir, I have a problem," she said flatly.

"Blaize!" Severus shouted and tore himself from Mrs. Holly's grip, raced up to the Headmaster's desk, and scooped the tiny kitten up into his arms, where the kitten proceeded to purr loudly and start cleaning the age-altered Professor's face with a rough pink tongue.

Albus lifted one bushy white eyebrow and turned back to the fuming elven Head of Slytherin House. "May I help you, Chris?" he asked genially.

Tangling a hand into her riotous red curls, Christina looked at Albus. "Headmaster, I found him in my rooms. My bed has turned emerald green and sprouted branches, not that I mind. I just don't like the color and I can't seem to get it out. Further more, the library that was in my rooms has gone missing."

Albus sat back in his chair and regarded the small elf. "What do you want me to do about it, Mrs. Holly? He's in *your* House."

"What I *want* is for you to get the keys back from him! He's obviously got a spare set of Faculty Keys if he's gotten into my rooms. And I want my books back!"

Albus sighed silently to himself, then turned to look at the tiny, clean boy whose face was slightly pink from being washed by the kitten that was now nuzzling him. "Severus," he said, looking into the dark eyes that met his. "Do you still have your Faculty Keys?"

"Yup," the boy said with a smile, pulling them out of one sleeve and offering them to the Headmaster.

Taking the ring of keys and putting them into his desk drawer, he said, "You may have them back when we find a fix for this hex. Now, what about the books, Severus?"

"They're in the main library, Albus. If she wants them that bad, she can go get them herself. I told the House Elves that Mrs. Holly was donating her collection to the school."

Albus ran a hand over his face before looking back at the smiling boy. "That'll be a hundred points from Slytherin, Severus... and an extra two nights of detention. Now go down to dinner before I hex you myself," he said with a twinkle in his blue eyes.

Severus grinned at the Headmaster and skipped out of the office, heading down for dinner.

Chris looked at Albus and pleaded, "Please say you've heard from Nevyik, Albus. And please say that you're going to make her Head of Slytherin when she gets here."

Dumbledore settled back in his chair and folded his hands across his stomach before answering. "Yes. Nevyik has replied and told me she is willing to come teach Potions. However, she specifically stated that she would not be Head of Slytherin, seeing as how she spent seven years here as a Gryffindor. You, at least, have the distinction of being an old Slytherin," he held up his hand to stop her from interrupting. "The lady in question will arrive tomorrow, mid-morning, in time to be introduced to the student body and faculty at lunch and then teach fifth year Potions with Gryffindors and Slytherins. Now let's go down to dinner," he said, pushing up and coming around his desk to offer the tiny elf an arm. "I hear that the House Elves are experimenting tonight."

TBC

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

BR: Oooo, just who IS this Nevyik person? And what's she going to be like? You'll have to find out. Umm, just so you all know, the species of 'Cerberus Canus' was off the top of my head and if anyone has any idea what his real species is, please let me know. Also, Eternal Cats, Christina Holly, and Nevyik are ours. No touchy unless asky!

ES: Gah, Rose, that last sentence sounded WAAYY to much like Peeves. Anyway, I got a prank lined up for chapter seven. Can't wait to show ya all!


	6. Ceiling Art.

ES: Ummm… Weeelll, I'm like, totally bored and on a sugar high right now and want to read a lot of stuff, but, like, none of my favorite stories were updated sooo, I figured I'd set a semi good example and write chapter six, like, ya know?? 'Sides, Blackie isn't writing any more tonight *pouts* , like, she's being so mean tonight, ya know?? Anyway, lets get going!!

War of the Hexes!

Chapter 6 – Ceiling Art.

(like, cool chapter title, ne??)

By: Blackie Rose and Eme Star

Waking at six, Severus looked around the dorm room and smiled to himself at the sleeping students around him. THEY wouldn't even THINK about getting up this early. Skipping off to the bathroom with an emerald green ball of fur on his shoulder, Severus couldn't stop grinning as he thought of what he would do today. Glancing at the posted schedule he broke into a smile. Defense Against the Dark Arts at nine and Potions at one.

Severus exited the bathroom toweling off his slightly damp hair in a fresh black robe. Finished, he tucked the towel into his right sleeve as he stepped carefully over in between Crabbe and Goyle's beds. Leaning over Crabbe first, Severus hovered his hands over the boy's hair and concentrated hard as he whispered, "_Hareriya Changus_." A soft emerald green glow issued beneath his hands, throwing the scene into high relief. As it faded, Severus turned around and did the same to Goyle.

Walking over to Draco's bed he repeated the process for the last time, grinning wickedly. That ought to teach Draco not to threaten him!

Stopping briefly at his trunk to get his texts for the day and his wand, Severus paused at the door and turned around. Raising his wand, "_Ton Ees_," was muttered and a soft green glow surrounded and dissipated from the faces of the three sleeping victims. With that last spell, Severus and Blaize bounded off for the Grand Hall to make a few… alterations to the decor before anyone else entered.

*---*---*---*---*

Harry Potter sat down for breakfast with a large smile on his face. His hair was almost back to normal, though it was more of a gray than a black due to all of the still light colored hairs interspersed around. Grabbing a crescent roll from a basket to his right and taking a bite, Harry helped himself to bacon and eggs from two platters on his left as Hermione and Ron sat down on either side of him well Fred, George, and Ginny sat in front of him.

When the doors opened and laughter from the front of the room reached him, Harry looked over to the main entrance. He promptly choked on his roll.

Walking over to the Slytherin table was Crabbe, Goyle, and Malfoy, and all three were looking bewilderedly at the laughing students. Each Slytherin had a pair of emerald green bunny ears sticking out of their hair.

As Draco sat down and started the morning staring contest with Harry from across the hall Harry was suddenly struck with the realization that Draco's ice blue eyes had turned the same shad of green as his rabbit ears.

Professor McGonagall came down from the head table and looked the three boys over. Turning her formidable and stern gaze on Severus, she spoke. "By any chance, Mr. Snape, did you have had a hand in this display?"

Severus smiled innocently over at Minerva. "Who, me? Why Professor, I'm shocked and hurt that you'd think I would do anything like that!"

"Severus, I'll ask only one more time. Did you hex Misters Malfoy, Goyle, and Crabbe?"

"Of course I did!"

"Five points from Slytherin for each ear, Severus." Looking at the still puzzled boys's eyes, she raised her wand, "_Finite Incantatem_! Go over to Poppy to have those ears removed, boys."

Looking at each other in horror as they saw for the first time that morning the green bunny ears, the three pelted out of the room amidst the gales of laughter.

It wasn't till near the end of breakfast that the students noticed the other part of Severus's work from that morning.

It was a Hufflepuff that spotted it as they leaned back into their chair and looked up. He had stiffened, tugged on the sleeve of his two companions and pointed up. Soon the entire table was looking up as well and when the other tables noticed the silence from the one, they too followed suit.

The Slytherins burst out laughing as each Gryffindor stiffened in rage.

The enchantment on the ceiling was no longer there. Where one would usually look up to see the sky as it would be outside, there was a picture of a large piece of parchment, a feathered quill and an ink pot. Scrawled in emerald ink widthwise of the parchment was this:

Harry Potter is a git,

That has a crush on Cho Chang,

And wears pink boxers!

Dumbledore was furious. "Snape, office, now," was all he was able to clip out as he swept out of the room, Severus and Blaize behind him.

*---*---*---*---*

Dumbledore paced his office floor, trying to calm down. However, each time he looked up at Severus sitting there, he couldn't help but feel his anger burn higher. It took an hour of pacing before he calmed down and sat at his chair with a sigh.

"How could you do that?"

Severus smiled. "With the Animadverto spell."

Dumbledore stared sternly at Severus. "Not did, could."

Severus himself stood up abruptly, unsettling the kitten on his shoulder enough to make her yowl in his ear. "For Gods sake Albus, I HAD to do something against Harry. When this stupid bind is broken I'm going to be Head of Slytherin again. How can I do that if my children have no respect for me? If I let Harry get away without a something in retaliation, none of those kids will come to me with their problems because they don't respect me, because they think I'm a weakling that will let a stupid Gryffindor walk over me!"

Dumbledore sighed, lowering his head and rubbing his forehead. "You at least could have been a bit nicer…"

Severus just smiled. "Ah, but there wouldn't have been any fun in it if I had. Besides, this way maybe Potter will realize that Cho Chang is only a crush to him. He'd be a stupid ass if he tried to marry the little heathen."

"SEVERUS!"

"Sorry, Albus."

Dumbledore sighed. "You still have an hour and a fifteen minutes of Defense Against the Dark Arts. Get on with you. Twenty points from Slytherin for damaging school property."

Severus just smiled as he dashed out of the office, taking the stairs two at a time.

*---*---*---*---*

Hermione was in one of her studious fogs as the Gryffindor trio walked down the corridor to their class.

"Knut for your thoughts, 'Mione?" Ron asked, nuddging her, bored while Harry adamantly told another person that no, he did not wear pink boxers, and no, he didn't think they had the right to know what color boxers he did wear.

"It's just…" she trailed off, biting her thumb nail in a nervous gesture.

"It's just what? Get it off your chest, 'Mione."

"I think Snape might be very powerful."

Ron blinked. "Snape? Powerful? Come on, Herm, the guy turns whatever he puts a spell on green!"

"But Ron, it would have taken a lot of magic to change the enchantment on the ceiling. That's messing with really old, really powerful magic there. I've read _Hogwarts, A History_, Ron, and if I remember correctly, one of the old Headmasters tried to change the enchantment once so that it would never show a rainy day. He burnt himself out and couldn't so much as do the simplest of spells for a year afterwards and it never even phased the enchantment. Snape didn't even look slightly tired today at breakfast even after doing what he did."

"Well, maybe Snape just tried a different spell."

"I guess that might account for it…" But Hermione didn't think so and the problem stayed with her even through Defense Against the Dark Arts.

*---*---*---*---*

Draco Malfoy was not having a good day. Even after hearing about the ceiling prank, he was still in a sour mood. Almost every minute he could here someone snickering in remembrance of the bunny ears on his head. He even caught himself twice already patting his head, making sure he didn't have the abominable things anymore.

And when the cause of his suffering entered the class late, his anger flared.

*---*---*---*---*

Harry looked angrily over at Severus as the little black haired boy entered the room. Harry had been asked many times since breakfast if he REALLY wore pink boxers and had been teased mercilessly about his crush for Cho Chang.

Any guilt he had had about binding Snape into the body of a fifteen-year-old was gone. Severus Snape would find himself in the hospital wing by lunchtime, if Harry had anything to say about it.

*---*---*---*---*

Severus smiled at Professor Holy cutely as he entered the classroom. She waved him to his seat, not missing a beat in her lecture about the dangers of handling dragons.

Slipping into his seat and taking his items for note taking out of his right sleeve and his text book from his left, Severus didn't notice the hostile glares centered on him.

Since Severus knew everything that Chris was talking about, Severus settled himself down not to take notes, but to draw a portrait of the elf.

*---*---*---*---*

When class was dismissed, Severus had to stay behind to inform Chris that he had lost another twenty points, leaving Slytherin with five (A first year had pleased Madam Hooch.) points.

Afterwards, as Chris swept off to the Great Hall after asking him to lock the door behind him, Severus collected his things.

It was as the lock finished turning that Blaize hissed and the first punch connected.

Draco and Harry had been leaning against the wall beside the door, one on each side. For the first time, and perhaps the last, the two rivals had called a truce in order to take care of the more immediate problem plaguing the both of them.

As Severus the impact on his back and he was slammed forward into the locked door, he allowed himself do be dragged down by gravity as he twisted his body so that he was facing his two assailants. Blaize jumped off his shoulder right into Draco's face, clawing, hissing, and spitting, a mad mini whirlwind of emerald green.

Lunging, Severus managed to tackle Harry to the ground. He couldn't run for the same reason's that he had done the Animadverto spell, so Severus threw himself with wild abandon into the two on one fight.

*---*---*---*---*

In the end, Professor Flitwick broke the fight up prematurely. Because of that no one broke any bones. Draco had scratch marks all over his arms, neck, and shoulders. Harry had a pair of broken glasses and a black eye, Blaize was just fine, and Severus had a dozen bruises all over body and a cracked rib, making it painful to breath.

Each boy lost twenty points.

*---*---*---*---*

ES: *Snaps her head up swiftly when she relizes she had started to nod off.* Gods, I feel so drained… Sugar high dropped off half way through, so I'm sorry if the ending's a bit stupid. Anyway, I'm off to bed. Have a Happy New Year!

ES: *Drags herself out of bed as something strikes her mind.* I'm an idiot… Before anyone asks me about why and how Severus can do a spell without a wand, here's the answer. I believe really powerful wizards can do spells without their wands as long as they have the proper concentration. 


	7. Enter Nevyik.

BR: Ok, well that was certainly nice of Emerald to get that done with so swiftly. And it was rather jumpy of her too. Just to recap, Nevyik is mine. She's always been mine, and anyone who tries to steal her, or the modified Ferth race used in this story, will get me very angry with them. Now, on to the last half of the day!

War of the Hexes!

Chapter 7 – Enter Nevyik.

By: Black Rose and Emerald Star

Running through the hallways with Blaize hidden up one enchanted sleeve, Severus skidded to a halt in front of the House Point Globes. His gaze went directly to the one beneath the coiled snake. 'Minus 10' it read. Apparently someone had earned a few points 'cause if it was just his points, it would have been minus 15.

He took off again as he remembered that he was late to Potions, having spent the entire lunch break in the hospital wing getting his ribs mended.

Skidding into the classroom, and the empty seat near the door that had been left open, he pulled his equipment out of his sleeves and set everything up in record time before looking up to see who the new Professor was.

And his jaw dropped.

Standing in front of the classroom writing a basic potion recipe on the board was, well, an angel. From this view-point, all Severus could see was a pair of huge black feathered wings folded against a back and draped over with strands of floor-length silver hair. The hand that held the chalk was delicate and pale and long delicate pointed ears poked out from beneath the silvery cascade on either side of the head.

Then she turned around. And she was gorgeous. A full six feet tall if she was an inch, moon-white skin, small pointed nose, triangular face, cupid-bow red lips, glittering silver eyes, and wearing a simple black robe tied tightly around her tiny waist.

"Ten points from Slytherin for the tardy boy in the back," she sang, her voice a pleasant melody that lit the dark dungeons that had been Severus' home since returning to Hogwarts.

"Today we will be brewing a simple fever potion as a way for me to ascertain your proficiency at Potions brewing and to help the Head Nurse fill in her stores for the coming winter and cold-season," the angel continued. "Begin."

Shaking himself out of the daze he'd fallen into, Severus glanced at the writing on the board. Nothing more challenging than a first year fever potion. His hands assembled the ingredients, diced and chopped, ground and peeled, while his mind was occupied with the new Professor.

Back when Voldemort was rising and creating evil creatures to help him rule the world, he had taken things from myths and legends and made them real. Vampires, werewolves, banshees, all evil creatures from myths and legends that would drive fear into the hearts of muggles. Then he had decided he wanted something that the muggles would greet with relief at first glance.

He had taken the image of angels and created the Ferth. But something had gone wrong in the creation. To start, he had used elves as a base, making them taller, giving them bird-bones, adding wings, and had come up with a suitable version of the muggle angel. But the Ferth had refused to obey him, had fought his control and won. They had gotten away with their inborn magic, their beauty, and their ability to breed true.

Like many of Voldemort's creations, the Ferth could change muggles and wizards into their own kind. It was one reason their large feathers were sought after. Driving one of the steel-hard, needle-sharp feather shafts into your flesh would turn you into a Ferth by a very painful process.

As his hands stirred and mixed the potion, adding things without measuring, his mind continued to mull over the fact that a Ferth was teaching at Hogwarts. The last time a Ferth had been in Hogwarts was when Nevyik K'Lara had been a student, graduating the year before Severus had.

A sudden movement at his side nearly made him knock over his cauldron and the just finished fever potion. The person backed up a step as he snarled and waved the flames off under his cauldron. Then he turned around to face... the Professor.

"So, it's Severus Snape, am I correct?" she asked, her voice softer so only he could hear, but no less melodious. Seeing his startled expression, a smile lit her face. "I guessed who you were since you are the only one here working without a partner and that, amazingly enough, you were finished first, without mishap, and then there's the tip I gleaned from the rest of the staff that I would have you in my class this afternoon."

She leaned over to peer at the cooling pink potion, curiosity lighting her gleaming silver eyes as she looked back down at him. "Just one question, Mr. Snape... why don't your potions turn as green as your spells?"

Severus' eyes widened and his stomach dropped. Blaize. He'd forgotten about Blaize! Reaching into his sleeve, he pulled the ruffled looking kitten out.

"Merrow!" she cried at him, looking angry at having been stuck in his sleeve for hours. Not even playing with the vials and bits of string she'd found in the sleeve made up for being ignored.

Just then, Longbottom's potion exploded, showering him and half the class with electric blue liquid. Everyone rushed toward the safety shower en-mass.

Potter and Malfoy got there first, at the same time. Both reaching for the cord and pulling. The cord snapped off in their hands. Obviously no one had needed a shower yet this year, because Severus had set the cord to go first thing when he'd gotten the verdict.

The Professor whirled around to stare in amazement at the blue-covered students just as Draco threw the first punch, catching Harry in the belly, causing the black-haired boy to double over, knocking his head into the blonde's chest.

Both boys went crashing to the ground, followed by the sound of the Professor's voice. "STOP," she cried, everyone going still at that piercing cry.

Pulling a wand from her belt, she waved it in a complicated pattern. "_Eximo Venenum!_" she cried, pointing at the knot of blue students. The electric blue stains lifted into the air and collected into a glob of blue liquid that bobbed over to the Failed Potion Bucket and gently dropped in.

Meanwhile, Severus gently stroked Blaize, cuddling and nuzzling the tiny emerald green kitten into a better mood, so when the potion dropped into the bucket, the kitten was purring at him.

After casting the spell again to clean up the mess on walls, floor, ceiling, and furniture, it was determined that all the potions were ruined. With a sigh, the Professor sent everyone back to their desks to clean up, except for Potter and Malfoy.

Looking down at them as she tucked her wand back into her belt, she folded her arms across her chest. "Fighting in class, that will be ten points each. Breaking school property, that will be another ten points apiece. Now get yourselves back to your desks and clean up before you leave."

She made sure that everyone was cleaning up quietly before returning to where Severus was now bottling his potion. "Five points **to** Slytherin for creating your potion correctly, Mr. Snape."

He smiled up at the Ferth woman. "Thank you Professor K'Lara. And in answer to your question... I don't use magic to brew potions," he said with a gleam in his dark eyes.

She grinned. "Please, call me Professor Nevyik. I haven't gone by K'Lara since I graduated, and my thanks. That clears up one mystery that had been plaguing me since I'd heard about breakfast. Now take that up to the Nurse and you are dismissed, young Snape." She closed one eye briefly in a wink, then went to supervise the rest of the class's cleanup operations.

Stowing his gear in his sleeves, he set Blaize on his shoulder, grabbed the bottle of fever potion, and made his way to the Hospital wing.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Later that night, Severus lay on his stomach on his bed, flipping through one of his favorite books "One Hundred and One Wizarding Pranks – Volume 3". He had been lax during Potions and Dinner, not doing a single thing to loose points for Slytherin. He had to start doing more.

Flipping the page, he paused, then grinned. Here was a perfect prank to pull.

He slid out of bed, slipped between the hanging curtains, picked up the tiny green kitten playing with a ball of pink yarn, and made his way silently out of his dorm. He was going to have to work all night to set this one up since he'd have to set up a number of distractions for Filch and Mrs. Norris so they wouldn't bother him or disturb his work once he was done.

"This is going to be a long night," he whispered to the kitten as he silently left the Slytherin dorms behind him and crept through the dungeons. "But it'll be worth the look on Albus' face when he comes in to breakfast."

TBC

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

BR: ooo, that was fun. Not as long as I'd want it, not enough pranking, but I ran out of ideas. So I'll leave it to Emerald Star to decide what he's gonna do. So what does everyone think of Nevyik? She's really part of the Ferthra race from Ferth that I developed for a story I started. I've used her in D&D, online role-play, various short stories... Now she's come to the world of Harry Potter. Hope you enjoy her!


	8. Fallen Glass.

ES: *Sighs and smiles impishly.* If you ever decide to check out our fanart you'll notice that I'm the better drawer of the pair. However, I must admit that Black Rose is the better writer here. Anyway, the prank coming up I got from watching a movie, something about a French nanny or something, can't remember the name exactly but it showed quite a lot on the Family Channel and when I read chapter seven, I thought, wow, this is perfect! So here we go!

War of the Hexes.

Chapter 8 – Falling glass.

By: Black Rose and Emerald Star

"You'd think an eternal cat would be quieter," Severus grouched under his breath as he stood before the stone gargoyle leading up to Albus's office and suit. In his arms was Blaize, squirming around and trying to meow. Severus however wasn't about to let the kitten screw up his chances for a good prank and had done a silencing charm on her.

After making a lot of noise in various parts of the castle to distract Filch from where he REALLY wanted to be, Severus had started on his way to the ugly statue. Only a few moments ago the two had passed by a window, and the little puff ball had spotted Fluffy. For some reason Blaize obviously felt that the stupid mutt was entreating on her territory because upon sight of the dog the little mass of fur had been trying to get out of Severus's hands.

Deciding it was for the better and that he'd make it up to her latter, Severus put Blaize into his right sleeve and took out his wand from his left. Whispering the password to the stone gargoyle ("Canary Creams" of all things) Severus stepped onto the stairs and waited patiently as they deposited him in front of the Headmasters door.

Creating the first of many emerald green wine glasses in the same way that Albus had once drawn a chair for Sibyl for Christmas dinner not two years back, Severus went straight to work.

*---*---*---*---*

Filch was in a royal snit fit Thursday morning. After staying up all night having to clean up various accidents that had happened around the castle, like the trophy cases being knocked over and scattering all the trophies around the room, he was in a very vindictive mood.

Most students noticed and stayed clear away from him and made triple sure they weren't doing anything to antagonize the man. However, that didn't stop Filch from giving detention to twelve students for nothing more than being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Severus was lucky for once and hadn't been one of those unfortunates. So instead he was seated at the table for breakfast, looking unusually curious as he kept looking towards the main doors every few minutes with a green furball splayed out on his left shoulder, purring contently into his ear.

After setting up his little prank, Severus had went back to the dormitory, letting Blaize out of his sleeve, to catch a nap in the time he had left before he woke up an hour before breakfast so he'd have first crack at the hot water in the showers. Before leaving he had emptied his sleeves of all items on his bed.

That had been a treat, to see the faces of the other boys as he took out things from the crystal vile to a medium sized box full of filibuster fireworks he had sneaked out of Filch's office while the man had been busy fixing the messes he had caused. He had a feeling that the box had been confiscated from the Weasley twins, but hey, it was their loss and his gain! Putting items he didn't need back into his trunk when the others left to take their showers, he had grabbed his Charms and Transfiguration texts stuffing both in his left sleeve with his parchments, notes, ink well, and quill.

At that moment there was a great booming sound as the doors slammed into the walls as Dumbledore was shown storming towards them about a few feet away from the threshold with his hand still held out as if he had flicked his wrist to the side. In his other hand he held an emerald green wine glass.

Almost everyone in the room either sat in shock or shrank into their seats in great fear as the usually cheerful and overly optimistic man stalked into the room. Few people could say that they had ever seen the Headmaster in such a state, and of those few none but Snape had ever seen it more than once.

Now that privileged few had been added to by the entire school and Snape's position added by one person, Harry Potter.

Harry remembered far to well the last time Dumbledore had looked this way. The end of last year when he had been arguing with Fudge had been the time, and that had ended in a parting of the ways.

Severus tried vainly to hide his smile of triumph. From the look of things his plan had worked! Quickly hiding his smile, Severus pretended not to have noticed the old sorcerer's grand entrance and returned to his breakfast, pouring a saucer of milk for Blaize.

Severus suppressed the urge to jump as Dumbledore loomed over him, slamming the glass on the table with enough force it was amazing it didn't shatter right beside him.

"Yours, I believe?" However the tone gave the question an air of a statement. Albus's voice was nearly a whisper, but it carried through out the hall as if he had shouted.

Many people in the hall were amazed by the way the Headmaster acted like Snape the Professor at that moment. And why not? Severus had learned everything he knew about intimidating from the best!

Severus pretended to stare in surprise at the glass. "Why, thank you, Albus! Why, I noticed just this morning that I had misplaced it and several dozen others just like it during the night. Pray tell, Albus, where did you find them?"

"You will address me as Headmaster. The glasses were right outside my door, Snape. Piled eight levels high, might I add. Did you know, Snape, that my office door opens outwards?"

"It does, Headmaster?" He asked in pretended puzzlement.

Dumbledore lowered his head till the two were nose to nose. "Indeed, Mr. Snape. What is the maximum amount of points I've taken off of you from one stunt?"

"I believe it was a hundred, sir."

"Two hundred points from Slytherin, Mr. Snape, as well as a month of detention."

Dumbledore straightened up and ignoring the amazed and frightened stares swept on to his chair. Once seated he smiled brightly as if nothing had happened.

The rest of breakfast was spent in total silence.

*---*---*---*---*

Those in Slytherin house were NOT happy with the actions of their former Head of House. And Severus could tell from the angry looks passed his way he had another scheduled beating coming up.

That is, if they could catch him.

Spending too much time over eating his breakfast, Severus managed it so that he was the last one in the room. Taking his wand out of his left sleeve and putting Blaize onto his shoulder, Severus waved concentric circles over and around his head three times before bringing his wand down sharply reversed with a firm, "_abeo_."

Smirking as he watched his arms and body disappear, Severus put his visible wand back into his left sleeve and slipped out of the room.

*---*---*---*---*

Creeping up behind a first year Huffelpuff that was at this moment picking up his spilled books since his bag had *accidentally* ripped open, Severus hovered his hands over the child's head. "_Hareriya Changus_," he whispered as the green bunny ears appeared on the latest victim.

Nimbly haring off himself, Severus rounded a corner just in time to see Fred and George starting to sneak into an unused classroom. Ah, perhaps now was the time to get back at them for that exploding potion last year that had colored his potion classroom pink.

Concentrating, Severus brought up both hands, palms out facing the two boys. "_Colourex Lamdara_," he whispered gleefully as he watched both boy's flame red hair turn emerald green.

Dashing off before the two could figure out what had happened, Severus pelted towards the Charm's room.

Being invisible was so much fun! There were now a dozen cases of sudden green hair, twenty-one cat tails (for good luck, he reasoned), and seventeen pairs of bunny ears. And no one had witnessed him. Of course, the color would mark him, but hey, what was the point of pranking if you were not gonna get in trouble?

Sliding into the almost filled Charms room, Severus looked around at the class and Professor Flitwick. Still pumped with adrenaline, Severus sneaked up behind the little Charms Professor. He couldn't help it, it just seemed like such a perfect idea!

Picking up all the chalk, Severus stuffed it into his right sleeve. Walking out of the room, Severus slipped into a room opposite and closed the door.

Taking out his wand, Severus did the concentric circles clockwise this time three times. Bringing the wand down sharply reversed with a firm, "_exsisto_!"

Severus took Blaize off his shoulder looking at the sleepy kitten. Taking off his wizards hat, he placed Blaize on his head, allowing the kitten to curl up and fall asleep. Tapping the hat and muttering, "_Resardin_," Severus replaced his wand in his left sleeve and put on his now almost see through hat.

*---*---*---*---*

ES: Eh, I know it's short, but I REALLY don't want or know how to continue at this moment, so I'll hand it over to the quite good filler writer, Black Rose! Now I'm off to grouse about the fact that I'm in school again well other's aren't.


	9. Tag the Twins.

BR: Sorry about the wait folks, but I needed some time off. Emerald has been chewing me out for not writing this sooner. Not like she should have time to write. She's back in school. And I start school late this week. College is for boring people who wish to be interesting. So why am I going? =^-^= Because I need a degree to do anything worthwhile in life! So on with Chapter 9!

Disclaimer: This chapter involves Yaoi. This means male/male relationship. If that turns your tummy, I wouldn't suggest reading.

War of the Hexes.

Chapter 9 – Tag the Twins.

By: Black Rose and Emerald Star

Severus slid into the empty seat near the door, watching the tiny Charm's Professor looking over his notes. Several of the Slytherin students glared at him while the Gryffindors whispered and pointed at his hat. Barely visible through the thinner than normal fabric was a ball perched atop Severus' head.

"Well then!" chirped the mini-professor. "Everyone please take out your notes so that we may continue to learn about the _innotesco_ charm." As everyone brought forth their note-taking equipment, Flitwick turned to the board and reached for the chalk.

Only it wasn't there. Severus smirked as the vertically-challenged professor hopped off his stack of books and began searching for his chalk.

Pulling out his own book, paper, quill, and ink-pot, Severus began to write, in expansively curling letters, the beginnings of a story.

Flitwick's cursing brought him out of his near-trance state in time to see the midget professor begin a _comperio_ charm.

Dropping his quill into the ink-pot, Severus twisted his long fingers elaborately and muttered _"abscondo creta"_.

Glancing at the clock that hung in the air above the door, he noted that Flitwick had spent nearly an hour searching before attempting the ridiculously easy _comperio_ charm. Severus grinned gleefully as the small man stomped out of the classroom.

"Wait a moment while I borrow some chalk, class," Flitwick said as he shut the door behind him.

All eyes turned towards Severus: who, after pausing for effect, reached into his sleeve and produced several sticks of now-green chalk.

The Slytherins applauded and the Gryffindors muttered to each other as Severus stood and bowed, setting the chalk down on his desk and picking up his supplies. "On such a wonderful prank, I shall leave you to learn about the _innotesco_ charm."

With that, he swept from the classroom with all the air of his older-self.

Swiftly pulling his wand out, he drew the circles in the air and then brought the slender bit of wood down sharply "_abeo_".

Tucking his wand into his now invisible sleeve, he watched as Flitwick stormed around a corner and then into the classroom. Without waiting to hear the results of his trick, he skipped off to find a quiet room where he could work some more on his story about a city guarded by dragons and the people who could understand and ride them.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Moving to the room he'd seen the twins disappear into earlier that morning, Severus opened the door silently and slipped inside, closing the door once more behind him.

Turning around, he froze.

Fred and George were curled up on a tattered looking couch, their robes partially open and their hair no longer a brilliant green, but a such a bright shade of red that it could hurt the eyes.

Severus, able to tell the two apart for no other reason than that he'd been seeing them nearly every other night for detention for the past six years, could not believe his eyes. Fred's fingers were gently splayed against his twin's bare chest while George's head rested against Fred's shoulder, his lips pressed to his twins throat in a series of kisses.

He rubbed his eyes, looked, rubbed them again, looked, rubbed them yet again, and finally *looked.*

"Oi, George?" Fred murmured, his green eyes half shut. "What do you think we should do to Snape?"

George lifted his head, opening green eyes to smile at his brother. "We could turn him into a ferret. Like last years DADA teacher did to Malfoy."

Fred grinned. "I like that idea, but I doubt they'd appreciate it. 'Sides, I ain't good enough at transfigurations to turn someone into a ferret. And I bloody well know you aren't either."

George pondered that for a moment, then glanced towards the door. "Let's think about it later, love. We've still got at least an hour before lunch and no one will miss us because Professor Nevyik cancelled class this morning..."

Fred, grinning like a loony, covered his twin's lips with his own, silencing him.

Severus's mind, however, would not shut up. _::I cannot believe this! Fred and George... but they're TWINS! What are they thinking? What are they... doing?! That doesn't look comfortable... I didn't know that was possible!::_

His dark eyes widened as he watched, unable to pull his gaze away from the two on the couch.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

About forty minutes later, Severus' jaw was still hanging, and the boys on the couch were curled tightly around each other, dozing lightly.

Slowly, Severus closed him mouth, licked dry lips, and pulled his wand from his sleeve, an evil smile tugging his lips. He would get those two back for all the exploding potions he'd had to dive away from. They'd pay for each firework he'd fished out of other students' cauldrons.

Swishing his wand elegantly through the air in a complicated design, he whispered _"facio grate"._

Putting the wand away, he stole from the room looking smug, the kitten on his head finally shifting and stretching with a soft 'mew'.

"I agree, Blaize," he said cheerfully. "Let's go to lunch so we can get good seats."

With that, he skipped off down the hallways, delaying to put in a request with the house-elves before going to the Great Hall.

This would be an interesting meal, to be sure.

TBC...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

BR: Well, there you have it. Chapter 9. Just to let you know, the slashy-ness of this chapter was not intentional, it just sort of happened. I couldn't help myself! I swear. But wouldn't you agree that they make the cutest couple? *looks hopeful* And I always pegged Sevi as being a voyeur. Anyway, I just hope Emerald doesn't bite my head off.

ES: *Shakes head.* I didn't do it!!


	10. Rabid Plot Bunnies!!

War of the Hexes.

Chapter 10 – Rabid Plot Bunnies!!

By: Black Rose and Emerald Star

Severus slipped into Draco's usual seat, taking off his hat and allowing Blaize to bound off his head and onto the table. Looking up to the ceiling, he sighed in disappointment as he noticed that someone had re-bewitched it, showing the cloudy sky outside.

Glancing at the House Point Globes, Severus read the points for each house silently to himself. First place was Ravenclaw with 160 followed by Gryffindor with 138 with Huffelpuff in third with 124.

Then there was Slytherin.

A card plaque below the globe showed a negative 250. Ah, that stunt in Charms must already have been reported. Shrugging notchently to Blaize, Severus took out his quill, ink, and story. Well, might as well work on this while he waited.

*---*---*---*---*

Draco strode through the halls as if he owned Hogwarts. After taking a census last night with the rest of Slytherin House, they had come to the conclusion that there would be no way in hell that they would be able to get their points out of the gutter Severus Snape had put them in.

The other three houses probably would have tried to get out of the negatives at the very least, but the Slytherin's knew when to cut their losses.

However, Slytherin wasn't the house of ambition and power for nothing. A sixth year had pointed out a few interesting possibilities.

First, he had stated, was the fact that they were breaking a record, as he had pointed out with a copy of _Hogwarts, A History_. The minimum amount of points a house had ever gotten was 15, and that had been Gryffindor House. So not only would they have a record, but they had also beaten their rival house.

Then he had pointed out that, except for detentions and expulsions, if they resigned themselves with not getting the house cup, there were no ramifications to anything they did.

That had brought up some muttering about even if they had tried, Gryffindor would have won the cup anyway by Harry Potter doing some stupid stunt and living at the end of the year.

After that, it had been unanimous. House Slytherin would no longer be trying to get the cup. Instead, they would be undermining Gryffindor House at every turn they got so that Huffelpuff and Ravenclaw could battle it out.

Rounding a corner, Draco continued on his way as he passed the Weasley twins, who were nicely situated behind a knight and hanging onto each other.

"Hey, Malfoy!" Fred, or was it George, piped up as George, or was it Fred, groped the other.

Turning, Draco was about to reply scathingly, and stopped with his mouth open as the twin that had spoken to him had his back to him and was kissing the other long and hard.

Paling considerably, Draco whirled around and pelted towards the Great Hall. He was almost out of hearing range when he heard the two speak.

"Why don't we skip lunch, love, and go find a nice bed, hmmm?"

*---*---*---*---*

As the Hall settled down, Blaize purred in delight as a small dish of tuna popped up onto the table. Severus watched in bemusement as the green puffball tore into it with a vengeance.

Looking up, Severus watched the last stragglers enter the room, and paid close attention to a blushing Draco.

Severus watched questioningly as Draco ran gasping into the room and over to the table, with red spots on his high cheekbones. As the boy sat down beside him without even commenting about Severus having taken his seat, Severus watched him in concern. Malfoy, to preoccupied to complain? That was like the sun rising in the west!

"What's wrong, Draco?" Pansy asked, leaning over and looking him over. "You look as if you just caught McGonagall having fun!"

Draco was still staring ahead of him as if nothing could penetrate what he was thinking. Getting fed up with being ignored, Pansy reached over and pinched him.

Yelping, Draco grabbed his abused arm and rubbed it well glaring at Pansy. "What the hell was that for?!"

"Humph! Well maybe next time I ask you a question, you'll pay attention! Now what the hell is making you so upset?"

Draco put his hands over his eyes as he muttered under his breath, loud enough for those around him to hear as he related what he had seen.

"Fred and George Weasley were kissing passionately in the hall?!" Pansy shrieked, pushing away from the table and landing on her butt on the floor.

The hall was silent enough to hear a pin drop.

Severus couldn't help it any longer as he chuckled and started laughing out loud. As if he had thrown a switch, the whole hall started to talk at once as the teachers tried to get the students to quite down or help the few people that were puking down to the infirmary. A faction of the student body were pointing or staring at a stiff and white Ron Weasley, another faction staring at Pansy who still hadn't gotten off the floor staring in incredulity at the bringer of the news, and perhaps four dozen were staring at Draco Malfoy who still had his hands on his face but wasn't covering the burning redness of his skin.

*---*---*---*---*

Lucius Malfoy smiled cruelly down at the piece of parchment in his hands. Oh, the irony of irony's...

Sweeping from his study, Mr. Malfoy turned towards his dungeon laboratory. Time to make an innocent liquid.

Chuckling maliciously, Lucius went down the corridor.

*---*---*---*---*

ES: *Looks just as red as Malfoy.* Umm... Severus really didn't do anything in this chapter, because it got caught by a rabid plot bunny. *Holds up said bunny baring pointy teeth.* I'm sorry to all you people that really could have done without reading any slash in this story, but Black Rose bribed me with my favorite drink. *Thinks wistfully of said strawberry milkshake.* Anyway, Fred and George are just a side pairing and accept for popping up in a few chapters after this, you won't see them. *At least, not in MY chapters!*

BR: Get stuffed, Emerald. I think the twins make the cutest couple in the world. And let go of Fluffy! *takes the bunny forcefully* And I don't think you should be apologizing to the readers. I put 'slash' in the summery and in the disclaimer for chapter 9, so sod off! Now I need to go work on chapter 11 so shhhhhh.


	11. McGonagall's Snit Fit.

Disclaimer: This chapter, too, contains yaoi (male/male sexual type pairing) and twincest (twin sexual type pairing) While this was written by Emerald Star, she would like you to know that she is only typing this stuff because Black Rose promised to buy her favorite drink.

****

If you do not like the idea of Fred and George 'getting it on', please turn back now!!!

War of the Hexes.

Chapter 11 – McGonagall's Snit Fit.

By: Black Rose and Emerald Star

After lunch, Severus decided to skip down to the Slytherin dorms and leave Blaize there so as not to piss of Minerva, and hopefully avoid the whole 'why isn't that stupid cat mittens?!' scene.

Making sure to use the invisibility spell so as not to get caught out by any fellow students, Severus made it to and from the dungeons in record time, slipping silently into an empty classroom to cancel the spell and then into the Transfigurations classroom, taking a seat near the door, furthest away from the front, pulling out his book and propping it up so his head was hidden.

McGonagall strode into the class room, her dark purple robes swirling around her in a fair imitation of something Severus would have done. Inwardly, he applauded; outwardly, he slouched lower behind his book.

"Today, we will go over the finer points of turning inanimate objects animate," she stated, pulling out her wand and pointing at a piece of chalk. _"Innotesco!"_ she said with an intricate flick of her wrist, sending the chalk up into the air to hover against the chalkboard.

She dove into the lecture, pacing back and forth before the class, stressing almost every other word. The chalk raced across the black surface of the board in a flurry of dust as it barely managed to keep up. The board itself was enchanted to rotate for just such an occasion, moving slowly from right to left so that no erasing was needed.

With a sudden idea, he made sure not to implement it until Minerva's back was towards him. When she was turning to begin another pace across the room, he gestured at the chalk and whispered, "_Innotesco!"_

The chalk at the board paused, as if Minerva had taken a breath, then continued to write. Only now, it was scribing the ingredients for a Lyric Potion. The evil potion that had started the musical fad, forcing all words spoken into a cadence that made most people just burst right out into song.

At that point, all the students were blindly copying the notes off the board, ignoring the verbal lecture as they strove to copy the notes before they vanished.

Everyone, that is, except Hermione Granger. Her hand shot immediately into the air. It took Minerva two trips across the room before she noticed and the chalk was now explaining the delicate mixing process of the ingredients and the careful timing involved.

"What?" Minerva snapped as the chalk continued to scribble timing and measurements and temperatures behind her.

"Professor McGonagall, why are you giving notes on Potions?" Hermione asked quizzically.

Whirling around, Minerva eyed the chalkboard and the potion instructions still scrawling across the board. Then she turned slowly to face the tiny boy hiding behind his book.

"Mr. Snape," she bit out, her eyes flashing dangerously over a murmured 'finite incantatum'. "That will be seventy-five points from Slytherin for altering a teacher-cast spell. Another fifty points for interrupting an important lecture. Twenty-five points for ruining your classmates' notes. And did you ever turn that rotten little feline into a pair of mittens? No? I didn't think so. Twenty points off for not doing the assigned work. And another ten points off for turning my chalk green."

A murmur ran through the classroom, quills scratched against parchment, and the tally was found and passed from one student to another. "One hundred eighty points off Slytherin," was whispered from one student to the next.

Severus looked up at Minerva, his dark eyes unreadable and his blue/black hair swaying gently in a draft around his face. "Why not just make it an even two hundred, Minerva? You've always hated Slytherin House."

With that, Severus stood, gestured to his books without a wand insight, and left, his books trailing after him.

"That will be another twenty five points off for leaving class early, Mr. Snape!" Minerva shouted after him, then turned back to the classroom and the board to find out where her notes had left off.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

At dinner that night, Severus was the only Slytherin fifth year to appear. The Gryffindor fifth years were also missing. However, no one was really paying much attention to that fact after the twins appeared.

Fred and George had wandered into the Great Hall about ten minutes into the meal, Fred's arm around George's shoulder and George's arm around Fred's waist. Not an all together uncommon occurrence.

However, they stopped about five times between the door and their spots at the Gryffindor table to snog.

Several of the Hufflepuffs were muttering about how it wasn't against the law or the school rules, it was just considered 'not right' in both Muggle and Wizarding worlds.

The Gryffindors heard that and talked it over while the twins were making their slow way to the table.

The staff was looking rather embarrassed, except for Dumbledore, who was looking tolerant.

Nevyik was watching with curious gray eyes. Pairings like this were normal with her species, expected with twins. As the saying with the Ferth went, 'They are alike in body and spirit. To love themselves, they must love each other.'

Chris, however, was looking bored. She didn't care what Gryffindors did as long as they didn't interrupt classes.

When the twins finally got to their seats, they were greeted by a round of applause from their fellow Gryffindors. The House had decided to accept and support the twins since it wasn't illegal by Wizarding or School law.

The Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws had decided to go with whatever the Gryffindors would do and quietly joined the applause.

The Slytherins were plotting ways to humiliate the Gryffindors while nailing Severus to the top of the tallest tower.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

After dinner was finished, Severus rushed to check on Blaize, give her some milk and some tuna, and settle her on his bed. He pulled the curtains shut around his bed, then spelled them so no one could get in or out, double spelling the curtains with a locking charm only 7th years learned.

Then he headed down for his detention.

TBC.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

BR: there. Sorry for how long that took, folks. I've been running around ragged with school and switching departments at work. I'm glad to finally finish this chapter and hope you like it as much as I enjoyed writing it. For those who're not into the whole Fred and George thing, I apologize. However, I really find them cute and I think identical twins make cute couples. Plus, it's a homosexual pairing so there won't be any children out of it, nixing the whole 'tiny gene-pool, malformed kids' things right out of the discussion.

ES: *Shrugs.* I don't care, as long as I get my milk shake.

BR: Oh yeah... *runs out to the fast food drive thru and comes back, handing ES a strawberry milk shake* there ya go!

ES: *Takes a sip.* Yummy!


	12. Detention is Pointless for a Reason...

ES: *Appears in mid-air and falls on her arse. Amazingly enough, this doesn't seem to agravate her.*

ES: *Snickers to herself as she drags her body across the floor over to the keyboard.* Oh, this is going to be _good_...

War of the Hexes

Chapter 12 – Detention is Pointless for a Reason...

By: Black Rose and Emerald Star

Severus knocked politely at the door to Argus Filch's office. Waiting for the thin caretaker, Severus smiled benignly. The two had always known each other since Severus's first prank at Hogwarts, and as the years had gone by and Severus had constantly ended up in the man's office at least twice a week, a wary sort of understanding existed between the two.

The best kept secret in all of Hogwarts had to be that Filch had a sense of humor, as long as the joke wasn't played on him or he had to clean up after it. As long as Severus kept away from him and his cat, Filch didn't set him a task too bad. After all, the man did have to keep up appearences. Usually the task set the boy was to clean up the area he had made the disturbance in and wash the floor there three times, and that was it.

[*Sigh* Non-verbal agreements are always nice...]

The door opened and Filch walked out with a bucket and a mop. "Well, sprite, you've seemed to have gotten yourself into more trouble. Dumbledore just added some more days to your workload. What did you do now, eh?"

"You should have been there, Argus! The dinning hall this morning was so silent! I don't think it's ever been that way since the construction of Hogwarts!"

"Eh, take it you pulled one on the Headmaster again, eh?"

"Sorry about the mess last night..."

Filch snorted. "Figured all that ruckess was your fault. I'm going to be extra hard on you tonight because of it. The Weasley twins bombed the teachers living hall this afternoon and it hasn't been cleaned up yet. Guess who I'm gonna have do so?"

[Well, obviously me, but why don't I play dumb...] "Umm, the Weasley twins?"

Argus glanced at him with a stern eye. "Now, don't play inocent with me. You know exactly what I'm going to do."

Severus sighed and dropped his head. "Yeah, I know."

*---*---*---*---*

Severus wrinkled his nose as he summed up the damage done to the hall. "Chaos, pure and simple. Damn, I hope they don't get into my room when that spell I casted on them lifts tonight. Well, nothing's going to get done if I just stand here talking to myself. Start on one end and get to the other, ne?" So saying, Severus got to work.

*---*---*---*---*

Leaning back on his knee's Severus sighed and brushed the sweat of his brow. Well, it had taken him a few hours, but he was done. Argus had told him to get back to bed after putting the cleaning supplies away, so Severus took out his wand, circled the supplies with the tip then tapped the center of the circle. "_Nruter_!" In a small pillar of light the supplies disappeared.

Getting up off the floor he was about to head back to his dorm when an absolutly fabulous and hilarious prank came to mind. Having been in the coridor, he knew that all of the teachers had gone to bed. Smiling evilly, he walked up to the first door and tapped the doorframe. "_Seran_!" A sheet of transparent green plastic materialized on the outer edge of the frame, and since the doors opened in ward this created a nice little pocket...

*---*---*---*---*

The morning breakfast was a riot of gossip at all of the lower tables. Homework answers were being swapped, girls were chattering on who the cutest boy was, but most of the conversations were about the seeming lack of teachers at the head table. Not to say there weren't any teachers there, for example Albus, Hagrid, Hooch, McGonagall, Flitwick, Sprout, and Chris were at the table.

When the back door to the hall opened the children stopped and stared at the sight. The arithmancy teacher was wearing soaked robes and the astronomy teacher had feathers clinging to her robes and caught in her hair. Both looked highly irate, with Nevyik behind them chuckling merrily to herself.

Albus took one look at them, groaned, and put his head in his arms onto the table. The astronomy teacher was holding a thin piece of green plastic. "The other teachers?" he mumbled, but could be heard.

"Taking showers and redressing, Headmaster," the arithmancy teacher replied. "Seeing as how we two got the less nasty of the surprises, we were elected to inform you that most of the classes will start late today."

Albus's head rose. "The two of us?" he asked quizzically as he looked at Nevyik.

"My door wasn't booby-trapped, Headmaster," she said in a lilting voice. Apparently she was either a morning person, highly amused at her colleagues plights, or a combination of the two.

"Mr. Snape, my office after your done eating, again," Albus said dully as he went back to his breakfast.

*---*---*---*---*

Voldemort smiled sinisterly as he dismissed the view of Hogwart's Great Hall from his scrying crystal. So, the little traitor was making a nuisance of himself to Albus, was he?

"Don't worry, old man. I'll take that little bastard off of your hands by sunset tomorrow. Permanently." With that he swept out of his shielded room. All that was left was the echoes of his malicious laughter.

*---*---*---*---*

ES: O.O Alright, I got lazy because I had a lot of tests in the last three or four months. Black Rose should be able to whip out a new chapter in a lot less time. Bye!

BR: I'll work on it, but I'm fairly busy myself. I'm actually... Dating! O_O Be amazed ;) I'll work on chapter 13 when I get the chance though.! I promise!


	13. Who doesn't read the papers, Ron?

BR: ^_^ I will write this stupid chapter in one night if it kills me... (but only because after putting off for days on end, I offered to write it in one night if ES would do the dishes for me... I think I got ripped-off...!) So here it goes.

*Be warned, I will have m/m, twin-goodness, slashy type talk in this chapter. Feel free to flame so I can laugh at you.*

War of the Hexes

Chapter 13 - Who doesn't read the paper's, Ron?

Written by: Black Rose and Emerald Star

*after breakfast, in an unused classroom, before the late classes start*

Fred and George were sprawled on the couch, a few candles lit as they held each other close. Fred was actually nuzzling his twin's neck while they talked.

"Oi, Fred," George purred. "How do you suppose we can get Snape back for that little spell he cast?"

"Mmm, we could always just act like it's still on us while we feel free to sabotage all his pranks?" his twin murmured before catching George's earlobe between his teeth and tugging gently.

George gasped, "S-sounds like a plan."

*Skipping out of the short, limey scene, we pop across the castle to another unused room, on the ground floor, with a window that happens to have a nice view of the lake! Ooo, pretty!*

Blaize is curled up on the windowsill beside a small plate of tuna and a small bowl of milk, waiting for Severus to return from Albus's office.

Dozing gently, she fails to notice the slight shimmer of the air above the tuna and milk, the way the tuna becomes slightly damper and the milk is stirred around gently as if with a finger.

A dripping finger vanishes below the line of sight just as the door of the room opens, Severus mopes in, and then the door closes behind him. Severus's shoulders are slightly slumped, his face somewhat sad.

Spotting Blaize, who lifts her emerald green furry head to mew at her master, he crosses the room to scoop her up in his arms and nuzzle her gently with his nose. "As much fun as I'm having," he mutters to the green kitten, "I dislike making Albus mad."

Perking up suddenly, he grinned as Blaize tickled the underside of his chin with her whiskers. "Yes, yes... I am having fun. I wish this would never end. And it's fun watching Albus blow up, even if I kind of wish he had a better sense of humor. At least Ms. Nevyik smiled."

"Merrrrow?" Blaize questioned, blinking lime green eyes at her master.

"Oh, I didn't want to ruin her pretty wings, so I didn't trap her door. In fact, I will go so far as to say she's free of my pranks while I'm like this. I happen to adore the Ferth race and I actually hope she'll agree to co-teach with me once I regain my age."

"Rowr," the green kitten stated, then wriggled out of Severus's grasp to leap onto the windowsill again. Then she absently batted a bit of tuna towards him.

Laughing, he took the proffered bit of fish and ate it. When she nudged the entire small plate towards him he gave in and ate while the kitten lapped up her milk, purring the entire while.

About the time he figured the teachers would be finished cleaning themselves up, he stood, zapped the dishes to the kitchen and picked up Blaize, settling her into his left sleeve as he started for the door.

About halfway across the room, the potion kicked in and Severus collapsed to the floor in a pile of black hair, black robes, and pale skin.

A shimmer crawled over the window ledge then parted and fell to the floor to reveal Lucius Malfoy in all his wicked, evil glory with an invisibility cloak pooled at his feet.

With a smirk, he crossed the room to pick up the sleeping boy. "Take that, Mister Potions Master," he sneered as he tossed the boy over his shoulder, ignoring the student's cap that fluttered to the floor. He turned and retrieved his cloak, pulling it around himself and his captive to disappear into a shimmer of the air.

*In Chris's DADA class*

The tiny elf swept into the room rather late since she had been helping her fellow teachers clean up the mess that Severus Snape had caused the night before. A sweeping glance proved that the annoying boy was nowhere to be seen, so Chris happily assumed the front of the room and began where she had left off the class before. It was no hair off her head that the teacher-turned-student was skipping. And, in fact, she was happy not to have to deal with the miserable boy now.

*At an undisclosed location (even to me!), in a house*

Malfoy tossed his burden onto one of the thin mattresses then hung his cloak up on a peg outside the door. His master would return soon and he needed to prepare.

Slipping from the room and firmly shutting and locking the door, he failed to notice the lump shifting about in one of his captive's sleeves. Once Malfoy was gone, Blaize worked her way free from the black fabric and shook herself out unsteadily.

She really, really, disliked sleeping potions. They always made her groggy as her hyper-fast metabolism worked it out of her system. Normally it didn't actually knock her out like it had... but the sleep this potion induced was called the Sleep of the Dead for a reason. If she'd been a normal cat, she'd be dead from the amount she had ingested. And unless she helped her master, he would remain asleep for hours and hours.

So she went right to work to help him get it out of his body by curling up against his throat, one paw stretched out towards his heart, and began to purr in an odd cadence.

Not more than half an hour later, Severus began to stir and wake. His hands lifted slowly and woodenly towards his face so he could rub his itchy eyes.

__

Why did I take a sleeping potion? he asked silently. _I know I must have, that's the only thing that makes me wake up with itchy eyes and a dry mouth and a runny nose._

Sitting up, he dropped his hands to cradle the emerald kitten against his chest for a moment before shifting her onto his shoulder. Then he proceeded to rub his nose with his sleeve as he glanced around curiously, then warily.

"Where am I?" he whispered, his dark eyes wide. Then it hit him. This wasn't Hogwart's. This wasn't his house. This wasn't the inside of any of the homes in Hogsmeade. Someone had drugged him and 'kidnapped' him. And he had a sinking suspicion as to who had done it.

Glancing around, he extended his senses slightly and felt the power of the anti-charming spells worked into the wood of the room as well as the glass of the window. There would be no blasting his way out, or even apparating.

Reaching into his sleeves, he found he was still in possession of his wand. That meant he wouldn't need to exhaust himself with hand-casting. He also had a vial of his boundary potion and a few other useful potions.

"Well," he murmured to the kitten on his shoulder, "at least I've got my things with me still. And since I know Voldemort and his followers as well as I do... I can have some fun while I'm 'visiting.'"

With a wicked grin, Severus pushed off his bed and reached for his wand.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

BR: Ok. I did it in an HOUR! *cheers and rubs her eyes groggily* I will have ES read it before I post and such, but I hope you all enjoy this. I realize I skipped over Albus chewing him out, that there wasn't much dialog, and that I only passingly mentioned my own character. I also just set myself up for a possible sequel to this story, if you can figure it out I might even do it =^-^=

ES: *Looks up from one of her text books.* Eh, you got it done?! GI' ME! *Wrestles the script out of BR's hands and speed reads in her excitement.* Sugoi!! So many posiblities, to much studying for finals! *Cries slightly.*

BR: *eyes ES, then looks at the readers.* In other words, ES isn't sure if she'll get the next chapter up soon.... or like REALLY later. So I MIGHT be talked into writing the next chapter too.

ES: *Glares evilly at the two stacks of foot high text books.* Stupid finals... Where's an army of loyal penguins when you need 'em?!

BR: *blinks* ok, now we're getting into references to my horde of comics that I read online.... down girl! *threatens to beat ES with a stick*

ES: *Looks at stick quizically.* You know, Mr. Johnson my old math teacher used to threaten with a 2X4...

BR: *sweat-drops* Um.... ok. Move along everyone. Nothing to see here except an underpaid one-hour photo clerk and a student nearing finals.... move along... and REVIEW! If enough people beg, I might write the next chapter so ES can do her finals =^-^=

ES: *Smiles evilly from behind BR with a 2X4.* Review or else... ^_^


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